


Self Care Is Texting Some Dude You Barely Know At Four AM And Astral Projecting From Embarrassment

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pesterlog, mostly? i mean, theyre not dating or anything its really just relationship building and being GAY
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 05:32:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9477785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: a rapidly escalating series of embarrassing events that occur too early in the fucking morning





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> formatting pesterlogs is bullshit. how do yall put up with this. 
> 
> anyway, heres a little thing i did cause im gay. ty for reading ily.

It was 4 am and John had been staring at the ceiling for over an hour in an attempt to make himself sleep. But it wasn't working, obviously, because he was still here. Awake. He'd been trying his damnedest to just clear his mind and count sheep, but the same few thoughts kept coming back. He didn't know what to do with them, with himself. 

He swallowed against the tension in his throat for the third time. He'd been through so much, conquered so many evils, made so many friends, come so fucking far. But these tiny little things keep getting to him, keep tripping him up. It's like it's no big deal to fight some giant creature, but when it comes to dealing with stupid, shitty personal problems, he was at a frightened loss. He closed his eyes and breathed in slowly, unaware of his fists clenching the bedsheets by his sides. For a few more seconds, he laid there in dead silence with his eyes closed. Then he tossed the blanket up and slapped his bare feet on the cold floor. 

Bed now forgotten, he groaned to himself and pulled his glasses off the nightstand. "This is so fucking dumb, I can't even believe it." He muttered to himself, snatching his phone up and turning it on. He was pulling a childishly angry face that's cuteness was somewhat dampened by the growing scruff on his jaw. He huffed, fingers tapping away at the screen. The room was no longer silent now, with John's eager pacing and his even more eager typing. Tp! Tp! Tp! Tp! 

He chewed on his lip, a bad habit he'd picked up awhile back that he was pretty sure he caught from Jake. He seemed to be picking up a lot of random habits from those around him, but he put it out of his mind. Right now, all he could think of was the desperately embarrassing texts he was sending to a dude he barely knew, each one more anxiety-inducing than the last.

EB: hey dude!  
EB: so i know it's pretty late and you probably wont be on but i just wanted to say hi and stuff  
EB: even though we dont really um...talk much!  
EB: i hope this doesn't seem weird or anything?? you just seemed really cool last time we talked and i figure a way too friendly 4 am convo would be pretty sweet  
EB: pretend i said that in a way less weird fashion   
EB: actually, just ignore all of this haha  
EB: sorry :B!!

Frustrated with himself he tossed his phone on the bed and walked out of the room to get himself a soda. "Jesus, I am the fucking king of stupid decisions, it is me." He mumbled, opening the fridge and nabbing a can of pepsi."Like I couldn't sink any damn lower." He popped the top and put the ice-cold metal to his lips. Before he could properly swallow, a distant noise made him swivel his head.

In one swift motion, he turned around, kicked the fridge shut and slid his soda into a position he could jog with. Which he did, hopping all the way back to his bedroom and trying not to slip on the slick tile and bust his ass. When he saw his phone screen lit up on the bed he almost dropped his soda. Instead, he carefully set it on his nightstand and picked up the phone, hands trembling just a little.

TT: I'm awake.  
TT: Sorry, I was doing something. Your assumptions about my sleep schedule were dead on though, so congrats.

John stared at his phone, buck teeth digging into his lower lip. His thumbs hovered over the keys but he couldn't think of anything to say. He sat down on his bed, took a few drinks of his soda, chewed some more, then decided to just go for it. 

EB: oh, cool!  
EB: cool guy like you, thought you were trying to delay your response to make it seem like you don't like me that much :P.

John slammed his phone against his forehead with a groan. What! The fuck dude! Of all the stupid shit to say, why does it have to be vaguely flirty stupid shit to come flying out of his backstabbing fingers? This exchange really couldn't get any more cringey, even if he started putting actual thought into the shit he said. Dirk's response came sooner than planned.

TT: You really think I'm the kind of guy to play such tedious mindgame oh who am I kidding of course I am.

His mouth dropped open and his heart started beating kind of funny. He really didn't know what to think of it, let alone his reaction to it. He'd been flirted with and flirted back quite a few times, but something about this just felt...different. If it had anything to do with the dumb thoughts he'd been plagued with lately regarding this specific Strider, he thinks he'd burn his phone and never buy a new one. His response was pretty slow because he kept erasing it.

EB: well that certainly was a thing that got said!  
TT: Most assuredly so.  
TT: So, what are you doing I guess is the thing I should ask.  
TT: Even though it's late as fuck and you're probably just sitting in your bed on your phone.

He blinked at the bright orange text on his screen, brows furrowing. Damn, was he a psychic or what? This is just like the last time he talked to him. He seemed to assume shit about John that nobody else did, or could. He was always right, too. One time he looked John straight in the eye (or so he guessed) and told him that he needed to stop Febreezing his clothes and just fucking wash them like a normal human being, and when John asked him if he smelled bad, he said no and walked away. That sort of haunts him a little. But just a little.

EB: yeah, that's pretty much the thing i am doing!   
EB: kinda creepy how youre so good at knowing stuff like that though  
TT: I'm not a damn psychic, Egbert, I just have common sense.  
TT: Speaking of common sense, are you still refusing to wash your clothes or have we collectively moved past that?

John sucked in a sharp breath.

TT: I mean, it's not like we had anyone to teach us this shit, but damn.  
EB: wait, 'we'? arent you like, a roboticist or something?  
TT: Is a washing machine a robot, John?

His heart slammed against his chest and he had to catch his breath for a minute, but he really couldn't explain why. Jeez, a conversation hadn't had this much affect on him since....Well,. since the last time he talked to Dirk. Dude was intimidating, he guessed. It didn't really help that the initial embarrassment hadn't really dispersed and was jsut sort of lingering around his ribs in a heavy sort of way. 

EB: isn't it technically?  
TT: Good question, but I'm going to be straightforward and say I actually have no fucking clue how to build a washing machine.  
EB: maybe you should give it a try? :B  
TT: Trust me, it's at the top of my fucking to-do list, right above "tediously carve a hyper-realistic recreation of what I'd assume Predator's dick to look like". Top fucking priority.  
EB: seems like good priorities to me! but also, gross?  
TT: You dodged the question, though.   
EB: i can tell you with 100% certainty that i dont even have a fucking washing machine!  
EB: and that im also running unfortunately low on Febreeze.  
EB: which, can i just say how cool it is that spray fragrances existing in a timeline where I don't know how to do laundry is pretty spectacular? talk about a lucky break right  
TT: I'm caught between agreeing with you on the grounds of that being hells of fucking relatable and kind of hilarious, and disagreeing with you on the grounds that I just realized you probbaly barely shower on top of all this fucking mess.  
EB: hey!! i have some basic decency you know  
TT: Do you.  
EB: >:B  
TT: Hey, it's cool. I go weeks without doing any of that shit, either.   
EB: :O  
TT: Like I said, relatable. But also, wash your damn self, John.

His heart was fluttering in his chest pretty rapidly at this point, so he decided to end it here. His mouth was kind of starting to hurt and his soda was getting warmer by the minute.

EB: yea yea, i will. man, you sure do worry about me, huh? 

When his response didn't come immediately, John began to get even more flustered. Maybe he was distracted or something, but the hesitation left a soft imprint on his already-heavy chest.

TT: Someone needs to. Jesus.

John's face contorts into an unreadable expression, ears and nose flushing pink. He rubbed at his face, stalling for a bit before taking a deep breath and responding.

EB: oh! well thats pretty nice of you. but im fine!!   
EB: honestly, i kinda worry about YOU sometimes.   
TT: Why?

Oh, jeez. The regret hit pretty hard that time and he closed his eyes against his blush. That was a damn good question and he wasn't sure how to answer it.

Over the past few months, John had been slowly opening up more, both to himself and others. He'd been asking himself questions he'd never even thought of until he had all this alone time. Dirk had sort of caught him at a sensitive time when he'd talked to John awhile back, and it had left a real impression on him. It seemed like Dirk really cared about it, even if he was a sort of intimidating dude. John didn't really...know how to feel about this. He sort of wanted EVERYONE to care about him. Which, yeah, they did. Rose left him concerned messages when he went too long without posting a Snapchat story or something, Jade popped in every now and then to hang out, and the others all left him embarrassing messages for him to read almost every morning.

But this was...different. Seeing and hearing Dirk made his pulse sort of jump, made his skin feel too-tight. It could've been just plain discomfort, or maybe even some sort of omen, but John knew better. He always knew better, even if he didn't say so. Usually, just avoiding hard shit was easier. He was kind of an expert at it, actually. But the real matter he was why he cared for Dirk pretty much at all, considering their brief encounters. He thought about going the basic "you're my best friend's bro, dude!" route, but it felt plastic and disingenuous. Also, he was pretty sure Dirk would see right through that and he didn't really want to trigger any closed-off mind games. 

He drew in a breath after realizing he'd been holding it the entire time and went back to tapping on the too-bright screen. 

EB: i dunno  
EB: i mean i DO know but its kinda dumb  
TT: If it's any positive emotion towards me, I'm automatically going to file it away under "F" for "Fucking Dumb But Thanks I Guess".   
TT: Title in progress.  
EB: see!! like youre so cold and weird. which makes it even dumber.   
EB: i dunno...i just feel like ever since we chatted that one time for like five whole seconds, i got this glimpse of you and it made me think that youre a pretty cool guy??  
EB: (a theory that has been pushed to its absolute limits by your weird, complex self-shenanigans)  
EB: but...

John swallowed, thumbs hovering over the keys. What was he about to say? He couldn't even think straight. His breathing was a bit shakier as he typed his next sentence.

EB: i just feel like, i dunno  
EB: you...get me? like, we're cool? you're like the only one to really seem to grasp even the tiniest bit of shit about me  
EB: but also without showing you really care? i mean, until just now of course. which was cool.  
EB: and all of thats probably super dumb considering you're just like rose, super smart and always understanding everything and everyone all the time forever and i'm just taking it weirdly personal?  
TT: No.

God, he felt like he'd been jumpscared. That bright orange text against his sea of blue frightened him more than anything, but he focused and waited anxiously.

TT: I mean, yes. I do understand most of the shit that seems to always keep happening, but also I do pay attention to you in particular.   
TT: There's probably a whole slew of fucking reasons for me doing so, but I'd like to think it's because you're sort of an endearing guy who seems to be going through something.  
TT: Something, I assume, you don't really comprehend. Not that you're dumb, you're not, it's just that you seem like you kind of push shit down instead of, I dunno, dealing with it?  
TT: Don't ask me, though. You're right, we don't really know each-other that well and I'm probably just making pushy assumptions that are also sort of projections.

His breath was faster than ever as he took in the neon text.His hands were probably gripping the phone tighter than they needed to be, too. He immediately knew what to say next.

EB: oh. um...  
EB: Projections?  
TT: All of that heartfelt bullshit and you reply with the last word I said and a question mark. Damn. Eerie.  
EB: why eerie?  
TT: Felt like talking to an AI for a second.  
EB: oh  
EB: sorry!! i just didn't really know what you meant?   
EB: i understood all of it...and also kind of appreciate it. you're right about all of it, really. so i didn't feel the need to comment or defend myself i guess!!  
TT: Shit, really? Jeez. I guess I overestimated your sensitivity or ego or whatever.  
EB: hehe :B  
EB: but um, projections?  
TT: Right. Now I'm the one avoiding. You've caught me red fucking handed.  
EB: heheh. hands up, sucker!  
TT: Adorable.

John gasped a little and covered his face with his hands so he didn't see Dirk's next messages immediately.

TT: I dated your grampdad, I guess. And you're kind of like him? And him and I aren't really doing great and it's sort of all my fault, so I keep like...I dunno. Thinking maybe I have some sort of backwards-ass interest in you that sort of pisses me off?  
TT: More complicated self-hatey love bullshit, like always. Shit's so mad predictable you could set your watch by it.  
TT: Oh, it's half-past Dirk Making A Fucking Ass Out Of Himself. Time to pick up the kids from school and shit.  
TT: At this point, I'm positive it's impossible for me to have one single interaction, human or not, that isn't fraught with either agonizing, one-sided, totally inappropriate pining or a desperate need to constantly flagellate my fucking self with a cat-o-nine-tails made out of the varying splinters of my fucking psyche. 

That's it. Phone dropped, right on the bed. He couldn't handle this, holy shit. It was way too much! This dude was turning John into a flustered, confused mess just by being his dumb, weird self. He wasn't even trying to embarrass him, he was just being honest, and that made it even worse. John waited for a long minute before picking his phone back up and reading it all again. The initial feeling of regret had pooled in his stomach and gradually shifted into butterflies. He wasn't sure how to feel about that, either.

EB: hey!! its ok. i dont really get all the complicated stuff you just said (pretty sure it was gross though?) but i think i get what you're sort of saying  
EB: im kinda like my grandpa who you dated, right? and its making you feel sorta weird??  
TT: In painfully simple terms, yeah.   
EB: well i mean...wait  
TT: ?

John's face immediately lit up like a forest fire, his heart hammering in his ears. His mouth was cotton-dry and when he licked his lips, it provided little relief.

EB: do you....have a thing for me???


	2. OK Google: How Many mistakes Am I Allowed To Make In One Conversation Before I Am Legally Required To Never Speak Again?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neither of them know how to have a fucking conversation and it's super embarrassing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive been itching to write this but im not great at plot stuff so this is my brain going off and having fun i guess. thank you to everyone who read and commented and stuff, it made my entire fuckin week and i would die for you. hopefully this one meets your expectations!!!! im sorry ;;

Dirk has been jittering his leg up and down for the past five minutes, one gloved hand covering his mouth with more pressure than was ever really necessary. He had about four hundred thoughts running through his head all at once, which was pretty normal, but this time it was causing him quite a lot of agitation. He inhaled sharply through his nose, eyes glued to the phone screen in his other hand. What the fuck was he supposed to say to that message?

He'd waited way too fucking long, now, and John had started to get anxious. But he didn't know what to do and it was at times like these he missed having some splinter of himself to bounce ideas off of. Instead, he recreated the experience pretty easily in his head, staring, unblinking, into space.

'You're just going to fuck another innocent dude up again.' One thought said. 'Stop blaming yourself for every little thing, it's fucking embarrassing.' another said. It went on like this, with different ones chiming in every now and again. 'He's not "innocent" you idiot, he's a grown ass man who's more than expressed interest in you.'', Bullshit. He's sad and lonely and he's curious about you because you're mysterious, don't take advantage of that.', 'Oh, what the fuck ever. How much longer does he have to wait for another chance? With your ridiculous, self-loathing habits, he'll die before he lets anyone in again.'.

He let out a deep sigh, rubbing his face roughly with the gloved hand. It sort of stuck to his skin and made him grimace. His brain continued, 'Dramatic, as always. But whatever. At this point, he's waited too fucking long to respond and made it awkward. This ain't some bullshit Fifty Shades of Emotional Manipulation, we all know that, we always have. It's a twisted amalgam of actual conscientiousness, and sick self-deprecation riding in tandem on the giant Projection Dong that is his fucking brain stem.'

At that, he flopped back on his bed and dropped his phone. This was so fucking stupid. He just had to over-analyze every possible thing until it became a jumbled, nihilistic mess and he took the most 'chaotic stupid' course of action. Whatever. With a heave, he picked the phone back up, hovering only momentarily over the power button before turning it on and reading over the logs again.

EB: hey!! it's ok. i don't really get all the complicated stuff you just said (pretty sure it was gross though?) but i think i get what you're sort of saying  
EB: i'm kinda like my grandpa who you dated, right? and it's making you feel sorta weird??  
TT: In painfully simple terms, yeah.   
EB: well i mean...wait  
TT: ?  
EB: do you....have a thing for me???  
EB: ?  
EB: dirk hello??  
EB: oh jeez you're not gonna fucking ignore me now are you!!!  
EB: like it's ok if you're gay or what ever?? i had the same conversation with dave, it's not a big deal!!  
EB: :(  
EB: me and dave talk a lot about this stuff actually!! you should talk to him about it hes really good at explaining things.  
EB: even stuff you didn't know needed explaining! which like...i'm sure isn't a big deal for you since you're super smart i guess? :B  
EB: dirk come on :(

His heart caught in his throat again, but he pushed through it and typed out a reply.

TT: Hey.

He grimaced, tossing his head back. God, he was a fucking idiot.

EB: uh, hey i guess? did you read everything i sent!! jeez.  
TT: Yeah.  
EB: and?? ugh dude come you're stressing me out.  
TT: Sorry. I don't mean to, I just don't really know what to say here.  
EB: that's new. :B  
TT: Tell me about it. I don't even have a cool cop out. Just sitting here in stunned silence.  
EB: well, like i said, it's fine if you have a thing for me or whatever. you told me you liked jake and i was cool with it?  
TT: John.  
EB: no, really! like it's not a big deal.   
TT: John. That's not the issue.  
EB: oh.  
TT: Yeah.  
EB: then what's the issue??   
TT: That you're a dense motherfucker.

He clicked his screen off and shoved it into his pocket. Why the fuck did these keep happening to him? Was there some existential fucking reason the universe kept making him crush on oblivious jackasses? It was probably some stupid lesson for babies. Whatever. He stood up and walked quietly to the other side of his large room. He put his hands on the edge of his mixing booth and stared out the window. 

It was late. The stars were pretty bright here, which was nice. Light pollution was lowest in the Carapace Kingdom, which Dirk appreciated most when his insomnia got the best of him. He was always a sun kind of guy, but it seemed that night time was better suited for bouts of isolation. Oh, and wallowing. Lots of wallowing. Which is exactly what he was doing right now, in fact. 

He always kept his window open, which was kind of weird, he guessed. He stood there and enjoyed the cool breeze for awhile, effortlessly clearing his mind. He did this a lot lately. Instead of focusing on many things at once and getting lost in himself, he sort of decided to give up before he had the chance to get upset. This sort of resulted in a lot of half-finished projects, breakdowns, and conversations. But a thought struck him before he could silence it and he made a face. He'd just realized that this whole avoidance shtick was eerily similar to the repression shtick that John pulled whenever presented with an internal issue. What a useless and not at all groundbreaking observation, he noted.

Time had a way of passing too slowly for Dirk. So, when he was finally was 100% chill and ready to pick the conversation back up again, he was surprised when only about two minutes had passed. He blinked at the time, then stared at the wall of blue text on his screen. He groaned softly and sat back down on his bed, trying to process it all.

EB: what??  
EB: oh my god talking to you is like talking to a pissed off teenage girl!!!! you're way more dramatic than dave and i'm not really sure what to feel right now!!  
EB: ugh. dude are you gonna stop responding again?  
EB: fine whatever!! we can change the fucking topic! like i said, it's not even a big deal.  
EB: i'm sorry if i like, hurt your feelings or something?? but you're being so vague and it's really annoying and you keep not responding!!!

He smirked a little. Seeing John angry was kind of...interesting. Sort of cute, he guessed. He typed out his reply.

TT: Hey. Sorry. I don't mean to keep fucking pulling out the tired dramatics but I got emotions and shit and I'm not one to beat around the bush. Sort of. I mean, there are certain types of foliage I do indeed performing various acts of physical gestures around but we're not getting into that.  
EB: well ok.  
EB: i mean goofy shit aside, i was just trying to tell you it's cool to be honest with me i wont like make fun of you or anything.  
EB: dave always thought, and still kind of does think, that i just needle him about his problems instead of talking them out.  
TT: John. It's fine. Like I said, it's not your theoretical threshold for homo-eroticism that I was worried about.  
EB: uh ok. you're not gonna yell at me if i ask what you are worried about are you.

He grinned a bit to himself, rolling his eyes to an empty room. God, he made everything like no big deal all the time and it was half frustrating and half endearing.

TT: Haha, no. I'm sorry about that, actually.  
EB: holy shit i wasn't really expecting an apology. it's not a big deal really!! i mean i know i'm kinda dumb  
TT: You're not dumb. You're a combination of purposefully and accidentally obtuse, and I can never tell which one you're being. And sometimes even when you're being purposefully obtuse, you don't even realize you are because you hide shit and push shit down until it's not even really a lie anymore to hide it. Is the thing, I guess.  
EB: oh...  
EB: that's sort of what you said last time we talked. in person i mean.  
TT: Yeah. You repress shit, I avoid shit, and together, we get nothing done fucking ever. It's hilarious.   
EB: heheh yeah. :B   
EB: i'm still sort of getting used to not hiding my feelings and stuff, but i've gotten a lot better at it i think?  
EB: rose tells me it's ok to be sad. so i get sad and try not to feel bad about it...  
EB: but it's hard i guess. and also, the gay thing? and a bunch of other things.  
TT: It's understandable. You've been there alone for awhile, you'd eventually start coming to some conclusions. I did the same. Still am.  
EB: yeah :B it's all kind of a mess. a work in progress i guess? but not really in progress just me sort of acknowledging it's there and not touching it like a bag of garbage that needs to go out but my ass is FIRMLY planted on the couch until further notice.  
TT: I think that's the longest sentence I've ever seen you type. And also, hilarious and relatable. Why are you so relatable all of the sudden?   
EB: heheh. compliments will get you nowhere. ;)  
TT: Jesus.

He face-palmed so hard it kind of stung, but he couldn't help but chuckle. This guy was such a semi-sincere dork it was hilarious. God. Maybe the universe has something here, he thought. He didn't dwell on that too much, though.

TT: John.  
EB: :B?  
TT: You're a cool dude. And I mean that in the way that baby owls are cool, by which I mean you're kind of adorable and kind of scare me a little.  
EB: PFFF! whaat. i'm not scary!  
TT: I know. But you scare me, just a little. I'm not exactly pissing my pants here, Egbert. You're intimidating like an ornate vase is intimidating.  
EB: jeez. gonna just drop my last name out there like that?? i don't think anyone's called me egbert in forever.  
EB: and do you mean you think i'm like, rare?? or that you're afraid to break me or something??  
TT: Of all the moments for you to hit the nail on the head, it had to be when I made up some stupid, half-baked simile about you being like a priceless vase. My most obscure thing yet. This is what I mean about your gullibility and naivety, it's like Schrodinger's Ignorance up in this bitch.  
EB: just gonna ignore all that and say JEEZ dude!!  
EB: i'm not a fucking infant, you can talk to me like a grownup! i wont topple ass back wards and shatter the moment you whisper your weird horse themed erotic fantasies within listening distance!  
TT: Heh. You never cease to surprise me.  
EB: and your compliments never cease to be vague. :B  
TT: Want me to be more specific?

Dirk pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and began chewing it nervously, his leg picking it's bounce up again. This conversation was all over the place now and he wasn't sure how to recover it. But he also wasn't sure how to do that, or if he even wanted to. He kind of liked just shooting the shit with John instead of the weird tightrope they were walking involving their weird feelings about each other.

EB: uhhh sure! i mean i don't really know how to respond to compliments anyway.   
TT: Well, I think you're really interesting to talk to. And I'm kicking myself currently over the fact that we don't have an infinite string of hilarious and strange conversations between us already.  
EB: oh well that's pretty nice.  
EB: and i agree!! i think you're pretty cool, but yea :B you're also kind of strange!!  
TT: I wear the freak badge with a disgusting amount of pride.  
EB: heheh.  
EB: well, i dunno i always tried to be, normal i guess? i still don't know how i feel about it all.  
TT: Normal is subjective. I think you're pretty normal.  
EB: says the dude wearing the 'freak and proud!' badge?  
TT: Yep.  
EB: well alright. thanks i guess heheh.  
TT: To steer this conversation in another direction, why don't you tell me what you're up to? I don't think we've discussed the physical plane much at all since we started speaking. Why, I don't even know what you're wearing right now.  
EB: wooow ok. i sure hope that was an ironic come on and not a sincere one.  
TT: The most pseudo-ironic, half-baked, buried lead you ever did see.  
EB: consider me rolling my eyes.  
TT: Considered. And appreciated.   
EB: heheh. well, anyway im just wearing my sick glow in the dark pj bottoms and im kind of just sitting around i guess?

Dirk swallowed. Was it really that easy to push his buttons? To mention pants? Christ. He shook his head of the image and tried to think of something to say.

TT: Cute.

He grimaced, dropping his hands into his lap and tossing his head back with an audible groan. Idiot.

EB: oh jeez.  
EB: i mean they are kinda cute i guess.  
EB: jade has really good taste in pjs. :B  
TT: An absolutely irreplaceable trait, I'm sure.  
EB: a quality i wish everyone had!  
EB: so what are you up to anyway? and, i guess, wearing also? i'm kind of just picturing you in those poofy asshole pants for some reason even though i haven't seen those in forever.  
TT: Come on, the asshole pants were comfy as shit. I slept like a baby wearing those.  
TT: But I'm in my tank and jeans, if you're so curious. And also just kind of sitting around like a douche.  
EB: i wear my god tier shit sometimes, too :B. they are comfy!!  
TT: Unlike any other garb, for sure.

There was a long pause before John's next reply and it made Dirk a little nervous. Maybe he was falling asleep or something. Dirk was actually starting to feel pretty tired, himself, but he never wanted this conversation to end. 

TT: You still with us, buddy?

The reply came immediately. Interesting.

EB: yeah! sorry, i was just thinking.  
TT: About what?  
EB: i dunno. it's been a long time since i've really talked like this with someone. just sort of enjoying it i guess.

Dirk smiled and huffed a laugh, flopping back on his pillow and stretching his long legs out.

TT: Yeah, same. I haven't had many fruitful conversations lately. Hopefully it's not too pathetic that this is one of the most interesting things to happen to me all week?  
EB: nah, i feel the same way! maybe we should hang out sometime!! :)

He licked his lips, unable to restrain his grin.

TT: Yeah. I'd like that. Shit gets pretty stale around here just kicking Jake's ass and making shitty robots.   
EB: i bet.  
TT: When would you wanna hang, anyway? I'm free basically always.  
EB: same. maybe tomorrow or something?   
TT: Sounds good to me. 

There was another long pause but Dirk took the time to get under the blankets and get comfortable. The bright, cool glow from the phone kind of hurt his eyes so he eventually let it lay face-up as he waited for the next message. Minutes ticked by and he was starting to drift when he saw the screen light up again.

EB: actually...  
EB: can i come over?

Dirk blinked and read it again in disbelief. He sat up quickly, heart suddenly hammering in his chest.

TT: Woah. Sure. I mean, you're gonna have to fly through my window on the southern side of the house if you don't want to disturb the other two.  
EB: yea, no prob! im just having a hard time falling asleep so i figure ill bring a movie over or something and pass out on your floor.  
EB: i have a pretty hard time falling asleep when im alone? which is super weird for a lot of reasons and it's been messing me up a lot!!   
EB: but when im around people i like, i just start getting sooo sleepy...  
TT: That's cute.

He sent it without really thinking, a weary grin on his face. It just felt natural to say, but then again he wasn't really used to just being super casual like that with shit. Jeez, talking to John was just too fucking easy.

EB: oh jeez...  
EB: well im gonna pop over. i got the netflix recently and hooo boy it's changed my life for the better!!  
TT: I've got a couple bags of chips stashed around here somewhere if you're hungry.  
EB: you know i am!!  
TT: Heh.

He took the next pause to slowly get up out of bed and reach under his desk for the two family size bags of chips, setting them on top of his nightstand. He turned to sit back on his bed but his eyes caught a flutter outside of his window. Nervous, he walked over to it and peered outside.

"Hey, dude!" Holy shit. This fucking goof was hovering twenty feet in the fucking air, all goofy teeth and big eyes, clutching a skinny, sticker-covered laptop to his chest. And, oh. This was a bad idea.

He was fucking shirtless.


End file.
